The Healing Scripts

Issue: Chronic tension in neck and shoulders, need for emotional releasing.
MAY/2020

WEEK 1

After going though an initial unwinding and grounding process with me, Christina’s first question is where is my body telling me we should focus. I thought for sure the answer to this question would be my neck and shoulders. This area has always been a bit of a nuisance, nothing major, but since the COvid pandemic hit, it has been a constant and somewhat debilitating pain to deal with. To my surprise my body said otherwise. The moment I took in her question and turned into my body, my tailbone and sacrum started to buzz like crazy. I can’t explain it any other way, that a buzz.

My intention for this treatment was find and remove blocks so that I can more fully step into my power. I know that a huge part of this comes with learning to use my voice, speak up for myself, and others … to speak my truth. I guess another reason why I was sure my throat chakra would come up, but I digress.

These next few bits are a bit fuzzy but what I do remember very clearly was visualizing myself floating in water. This visualization Christina suggested, to help flush things out. There I was floating in a small beautiful lake, surrounded by trees. I was experiencing myself as both floating and watching myself float. Then the black ink came, it started to pour out of my tailbone and onto the water. The ink was consuming my entire spine and surrounding nervous system and it just kept coming and coming … I thought it was never going to stop. And then it did. As I lay there resting in the water feeling this emptiness and spaciousness along my spine and nervous system I saw a copy of myself sink out of my body and go all the way down to the bottom of the lake. The visual was like when you see someone’s soul leave their body, but this was not my soul. It was a version of myself that is no longer serving me.

It was time to move on from there so Christina asked if there’s another part of my body the needed attention. As I tuned in once again the discomfort in my neck and shoulders amplified. Hello old friend, I know what you are about. As I sensed in deeper I had a flash visualization of being decapitated, it was a bit of a shocking blip … this I felt was a symbol for disconnect between my head and heart. My throat is working in that it is somewhat connected to my head, but not at all connected to my heart. What I have been feeling in my heart has not been something I have been inclined to express. This is my work. This is my shadow piece.

WEEK 2

After getting settled and doing our initial grounding Christina asked me to turn into my body and ask it to tell me what area needed the most attention today. My neck and shoulders speak to me right away, like a beacon. This sensation is so precise that I can hone right in on the vertebra (it felt like T2) this burning sensation is surrounding it. I know this has to due with speaking my truth and with that stepping into my power, which has been my intention for both sessions now.

As I tune into this sensation in my vertebra I receive a visual of bright green slime. It looks radioactive. As we continue to work on this area the word “infection” keeps popping into my head, like the green goo is infection. Christina helps me to visualize a tornado from this area down into the earth to help gently and compassionately release this. It first starts to release slowly in blips but soon starts coming out in big blobs, into the tornado and right into the earth. Even though most of it is gone I can still see little bits of green slime still holding on so I speak to it to tell it that it will be so much happier if it lets go and joins the rest of its kind. Eventually it does.

It feels good to have the infection gone, but what I see left behind is a decayed and broken vertebra where the infection lived for many years I imagine. It feels desolate … it needs rebuilding. I share this with Christina and she immediately starts to fill my heart with gold/green emerald light. I can feel it entering and filling my heart space up but not fully. The moment I notice this I take a deep breath and allow myself to shift into full acceptance. The light comes flooding in and moves through my heart and into my vertebra restoring it to its full expression. The green light also takes a quick trip up and down the entire rest of my spine giving it a little spruce and shine.

Christina asks how my throat feels. I say it feels good. She right away tunes into the unexpressed emotions that I have been holding in my body, particularly anger. Bingo!

The liver is the seat of anger so we move down there. Christina has me visualize a tube coming off my liver down into the earth. We will work with the element of fire transmuting into gas to release it. My minds visual is lava. My liver is full of thick black lava. It takes some work to move this out so Christina suggests I do some vocal toning pushing from my vocal cords right down through my liver and out. This makes perfect sense as it is decades of unexpressed emotions that have built up as anger and resentment.

I do one breath of toning and I am immediately on fire. I can hear that Christina is really feeling the intensity of this too. I do a few more rounds of toning while visualizing the thick black lava leaving my liver. My sensation is to do one more round just to push out any residual. The heat dissipates and I can actually see my liver as pink flesh again, alive and functioning.

Phew! That was a big one!

Christina asks me again if my body is highlighting any other area that needs attention. My central nervous system channel speaks up right away. I’m not sure if I am calling this the right thing … my visualization is of a channel about 4 inches in diameter that encompasses my spine and my nervous system.

During our last session I relieved this space of black ink that had been residing there. I’ve been left with this sensation of spaciousness but also emptiness. In needs to be filed up with life again.

Christina explains to me that she has one hand on my sacrum and the other at the back of my skull. It feels as if her hands are actually there. I immediately start to feel the energy flow and this channel begins to fill with life. In my minds eye I see green nature, plants flowers, and fireflies. It’s like seeing that bright baby green colour as spring emerges. It looks and feels beautiful! So full of vibrancy and life! Wow.

Our session is coming to an end. Christina asks if the negative thought unravelling process we did last session has been sticking. I had literally forgotten about this! I have been having very few negative thoughts about myself and in fact have even noticed that I am offering myself kind thoughts and words. I guess it is sticking.

She sends some white light into my pineal gland. I do notice that this gland could use a little decalcifying and shining up, but feel that is enough for today’s session. She sweeps what I feel to be buckets of debris from my field into the earth. Spaciousness and lightness surrounds me.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

WEEK 3

We began again with our initial grounding and unwinding, settling into my body. Once we were there Christina asked me to tune into my body and ask what areas where being highlighted as needing attention today. My guts had been bothering me for a week or two, but instead of jumping right there I really give my body time to speak (sometimes the words aren’t always what I expect). My gut did come though first, loud and clear. After I shared this with her she asked right away if there was any other areas. My mind was the next that my body highlighted. She asked again and my heart came forward.

Gut. Mind. Heart. Christina shared with me that these are the areas that are related with processing emotions, primarily the gut. It makes sense to me how these all fit together …. Our gut micro-biome is so intuitively intelligent, but often it’s our mind that takes over. The same could be said for the heart … burying its emotions in logic.

We started to work with my gut, once again working with the element of water to help flush things out. In my minds eye I find myself floating in a small lake surrounded by trees. As I ask my body what it needs to help flush the stuck emotions out of my gut, my minds eye starts in on my intestines, trying to work its way down from the top, but it is too jammed up, so without hesitation my intestines release at the bottom and from that point leave my body to straighten out and more easily be flushed. This helps to a certain extent, but not to the full expression. My guess is Christina sensed this because she then asked me to tap into the emotions that I was feeling were stuck inside of me, that I was having a hard time letting go of.

Anger. Resentment. Sadness. She then asked me to tap into the emotion of anger and find who, why and what stories and or experiences were related to the emotion of anger that I was holding. As I started to tap into the times my anger comes forward the most things started moving fast. I first felt the frustration I often have with my son, then my husband, then a great deal of men who have entered my life. Before I had time to try and decipher why all these men were the root of my anger; my senses immediately dove into my battle against patriarchy and misogyny that my soul and ancestors have been in such a huge pattern of experiencing.

At this point she invited me to release the emotion of anger by offering it to a whirlpool that was forming in the water. I sat up crossed legged on the water perched safely on the edge of the whirlpool. I wasn’t quite sure how to offer this emotion to the water so I asked, and just as I did the element of air came in as a gust of wind from behind me. It blew right though me, with it taking anger from my heart, my throat and my mind, taking them right into the whirlpool.

As I continued to sit on the edge of the whirlpool we shifted next to the emotion of resentment, tuning into where that holding was coming from. I seem to remember my husband coming into my mind but as I am writing this I am also feeling that was towards myself within the dynamics of our relationship. When it came time to release this the wind came again, this time moving though my solar plexus and sacrum, blowing it right into the centre of the pool to fall.

Finally we moved into sadness. I can’t remember what the sadness was specifically associated with but I do remember being surprised at how big this release was. The wind came from behind, blew through me and collected sadness from my entire body. I had no idea I was holding onto that much sadness. As the release worked its way up my body, it reached my head. To yet another surprise I saw my brain leave my head with ease. I momentarily panicked and thought to try and grab it back, but it was already gone, into the pool and into the earth. I quickly shifted from panic to trust in the process.

Christina then asked my to focus back on my gut to offer it any more release. Still sitting on the water on the edge of the whirlpool, the bottom of my intestines release once again, stretching out and leaving my body. Pure crystalline water began to flush through them, cleaning out any debris left behind.

From there Christina has me shift focus to my mind … or lack there of as my entire brain had left my head and was sent to the earth. It’s time to rebuild. I see a new brain, pink and lush starting to form back in my skull. I see balance between left and right hemispheres. I see sparks of synapses firing like crazy. My new brain is lit up and in the centre of it all I see my pineal gland like a beacon of light, flashing like the light of a lighthouse. Everything is alive and functioning at its fullest capacity.

Lastly we shift focus to my heart. I feel a sharp pain in it as we move towards this place. The release in holding from my heart comes as a visual of pulling a knife out of it. The sense that I have is that this knife comes from my husband … not in the sense that he would actually ever stab me, but in the sense of him telling me one thing and then doing or feeling another. How he fell victim to his lack of boundaries, with the finger often pointing at me. The knife is out and released, just the same as the expectations of the relationship is. I feel the hole in my heart seal up and restore.

To finish Christina brings in white light. I can feel and see every part of my body fill and respond in vibration. I am illuminated. As she sweeps off my field to close the session the word “shape shifter” comes into my mind and will not leave. I feel it is a message for me to look into. Am I a shape shifter?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

AUGUST/2020
Issue: Over a week with an undiagnosed GI issue. No appetite, food intolerances, stabbing pains, stomach cramps and aches, looser than usual BMs, acidic stools, sore anus, and undue, heavy fatigue.

In the beginning of the treatment once in the grounded-relaxed state, Christina asked my body to highlight the current areas that have to do with my issue. The body highlighted in order:
Lower colon, stomach, left side of spinal cord at back of the heart, forebrain above prefrontal cortex, and back down to the anus.

At the start of the treatment I continued having lower abdominal cramps but within minutes, they began to lighten. I also felt gurgling juices release in my stomach with a lightening of pressure, as though some blockage had just opened up. That brought relief. Christina then picked up an issue with my stomach lining, which I recognized as quite possible since I’ve been taking acid reflux medication for so many years, as well as thyroid hormones and arthritis medication. Christina and I worked together to build and restore a supple, fresh, healed stomach lining. I could see it in my mind as pink, clear, and healthy. As the treatment progressed I started to feel better and better… The highlighted spot in my spine near my shoulder blades resolved on its own. I was aware that my mind underwent a ‘sense of transformation’ that is hard to put into words. It was the recognition that between the start of the treatment and the completion of it, I experienced 100% healing. Christina seemed to have raised the frequency in my Intestinal tract to a higher level than that of the unknown bug/ailment. I went from being terribly fatigued and having constant pain, to feeling an eased relaxation, and no pain anywhere at all. I have had a lot of energy work over the years, but rarely have I ever felt so completely healed and cleansed following a treatment as I did after this one.

Personally I found this treatment hugely inspiring. If deepening into the awareness of your body can guide you toward healing in this manner, it’s something I definitely want to be a part of, and know more about.
Thank you, Thank you.

June/2020
Issue: Issues relating to Autoimmune Disorder
Would like to resolve: Letting Go

After the initial grounding from Christina, we focused on reoccurring pain in my intestine and trying to identify the source. By asking my body to reveal what I need to let go of.
Christina was able to target the blockage and release the pain. What came to me was an on-going issue with my mother. As Christina worked on the blockage, I worked on releasing my mom with love.
When I asked my body to identify another area of pain I was brought to my heart and breastbone, I immediately received a very clear vision of myself behind bars in a dark dungeon. I was holding on to the bars looking out from between them, I had a very strong feeling of fear. And when I asked for the reason of fear and this vision, the message I got was “later” I then had a burning sensation from my heart that travelled up and out of my throat followed by a huge yawn. Then I saw a vision of my son kissing a very large rock, Christina interpreted, that it may be – my son needed to get grounded, I agreed.
My throat felt burnt for most of the day and pain in intestine gone and I felt great.
I will do my own work to try and reveal what me being behind bars means and then will have another session with Christina so we can release it.

As always, Christina, Thank you for your healing.

SEPT 2020

We began again with our initial grounding and unwinding, settling into my body. Once we were there Christina asked me to tune into my body and ask what areas where being highlighted as needing attention today. My guts had been bothering me for a week or two, but instead of jumping right there I really give my body time to speak (sometimes the words aren’t always what I expect). My gut did come though first, loud and clear. After I shared this with her she asked right away if there was any other areas. My mind was the next that my body highlighted. She asked again and my heart came forward.

Gut. Mind. Heart. Christina shared with me that these are the areas that are related with processing emotions, primarily the gut. It makes sense to me how these all fit together …. Our gut micro-biome is so intuitively intelligent, but often it’s our mind that takes over. The same could be said for the heart … burying its emotions in logic.

We started to work with my gut, once again working with the element of water to help flush things out. In my minds eye I find myself floating in a small lake surrounded by trees. As I ask my body what it needs to help flush the stuck emotions out of my gut, my minds eye starts in on my intestines, trying to work its way down from the top, but it is too jammed up, so without hesitation my intestines release at the bottom and from that point leave my body to straighten out and more easily be flushed. This helps to a certain extent, but not to the full expression. My guess is Christina sensed this because she then asked me to tap into the emotions that I was feeling were stuck inside of me, that I was having a hard time letting go of.

Anger. Resentment. Sadness. She then asked me to tap into the emotion of anger and find who, why and what stories and or experiences were related to the emotion of anger that I was holding. As I started to tap into the times my anger comes forward the most things started moving fast. I first felt the frustration I often have with my son, then my husband, then a great deal of men who have entered my life. Before I had time to try and decipher why all these men were the root of my anger; my senses immediately dove into my battle against patriarchy and misogyny that my soul and ancestors have been in such a huge pattern of experiencing.

At this point she invited me to release the emotion of anger by offering it to a whirlpool that was forming in the water. I sat up crossed legged on the water perched safely on the edge of the whirlpool. I wasn’t quite sure how to offer this emotion to the water so I asked, and just as I did the element of air came in as a gust of wind from behind me. It blew right though me, with it taking anger from my heart, my throat and my mind, taking them right into the whirlpool.

As I continued to sit on the edge of the whirlpool we shifted next to the emotion of resentment, tuning into where that holding was coming from. I seem to remember my husband coming into my mind but as I am writing this I am also feeling that was towards myself within the dynamics of our relationship. When it came time to release this the wind came again, this time moving though my solar plexus and sacrum, blowing it right into the centre of the pool to fall.

Finally we moved into sadness. I can’t remember what the sadness was specifically associated with but I do remember being surprised at how big this release was. The wind came from behind, blew through me and collected sadness from my entire body. I had no idea I was holding onto that much sadness. As the release worked its way up my body, it reached my head. To yet another surprise I saw my brain leave my head with ease. I momentarily panicked and thought to try and grab it back, but it was already gone, into the pool and into the earth. I quickly shifted from panic to trust in the process.

Christina then asked my to focus back on my gut to offer it any more release. Still sitting on the water on the edge of the whirlpool, the bottom of my intestines release once again, stretching out and leaving my body. Pure crystalline water began to flush through them, cleaning out any debris left behind.

From there Christina has me shift focus to my mind … or lack there of as my entire brain had left my head and was sent to the earth. It’s time to rebuild. I see a new brain, pink and lush starting to form back in my skull. I see balance between left and right hemispheres. I see sparks of synapses firing like crazy. My new brain is lit up and in the centre of it all I see my pineal gland like a beacon of light, flashing like the light of a lighthouse. Everything is alive and functioning at its fullest capacity.

Lastly we shift focus to my heart. I feel a sharp pain in it as we move towards this place. The release in holding from my heart comes as a visual of pulling a knife out of it. The sense that I have is that this knife comes from my husband … not in the sense that he would actually ever stab me, but in the sense of him telling me one thing and then doing or feeling another. How he fell victim to his lack of boundaries, with the finger often pointing at me. The knife is out and released, just the same as the expectations of the relationship is. I feel the hole in my heart seal up and restore.

To finish Christina brings in white light. I can feel and see every part of my body fill and respond in vibration. I am illuminated. As she sweeps off my field to close the session the word “shape shifter” comes into my mind and will not leave. I feel it is a message for me to look into. Am I a shape shifter?

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

SEPT 2020

This is a brief outline of a recent “experience” I have had. One that, I do not fully comprehend. But would like to explore further. I’m not sure that I can objectively describe what happened, or that I am even capable of analyzing what happened objectively. But I will do my best.

The context: I am someone who has been dealing with cancer—initially follicular lymphoma—and the effects of subsequent its treatment for the past seven years.

A Positron Emission Tomography scan, conducted in July 2020, indicated that my lymphoma is apparently currently in remission.

Following 13 rounds of radiation in 2013 and eight rounds of Chemotherapy (Bendamustine/Retuximab) in 2015-16, I was diagnosed with severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. The COPD has drastically curtailed my former physical abilities and altered my life. Intuitively I believe the cancer treatments were the proximate cause of my sudden onset COPD—but this is an open question from the perspective of allopathic medicine.

In January of 2020, after a severe bout of bronchitis, a number of enlarged lymph nodes were discovered in my lungs, following a routine CAT scan. One node of concern was apparently 0.2 centimetres in diameter. In a subsequent CT scan in early March that same node was 0.4 centimetres. In a following CT scan in early June the node was 1.2 centimetres. Over the past seven years the medical teams have observed a pattern of lymph nodes growing, and most cases declining, in both my lungs.

But in this case the lymph node of concern in my upper left lung was displaying exponential growth, therefore strongly indicative of malignancy. Shortly after that a bronchoscope was performed and three out four lymph nodes in my left lung were determined to be non-malignant. But the node of most concern was inaccessible during the bronchoscope. This led in turn to a PET scan in July; wherein it was revealed that the bio-chemical activity associated with the node strongly suggested malignancy.

I have been subsequently been referred to a radiation oncologist who is planning to administer 8 rounds of what is called “surgical Knife” radiation treatment to the fore mentioned node/tumour, The prognosis is good, with a projected 90% possibility for a successful cure. The open question is how much possible loss of existing lung function will result from the treatment—which given my currently compromised respiratory condition is a source of great anxiety?

Last week I was at the cancer agency to be outfitted for a special face mask, and body mould, designed to deliberately restrict my movement and breathing during the radiation process. At that time both the technicians creating my mask and body mould, as well as the technicians later doing my subsequent CT scan, commented on the fact that my left shoulder was improperly aligned. This was not news to me, as this has happened to me before in different medical settings. I explained that it was the result of a very severe fall while I skiing in 1994.

In the following years my shoulder was examined by various doctors and diagnosed as a rotator cuff injury. I subsequently visited a physiotherapist who failed to do much. And about a year later I was referred to the U.B.C. Sports Medicine Clinic where a specialist referred me to another physiotherapist who I found very effective, and to whom I visited for many years after to treat various other injuries.

At that time this physiotherapist managed to successfully restore the functioning of my left shoulder to “normalcy”—despite leaving the joint somewhat out of line.

But is my shoulder out of line because of the ski accident, or is it because I have become chronically tense in that part of my body? I don’t know.

Meanwhile, on September 10, 2020 I visited Christina Haverkort for a routine therapy session. As usual we began with a review of my personal state of affairs—which included a cursory review of my anxiety about-facing further cancer treatment. During the course of the session she began to focus her physical contact on the upper left quadrant of my chest. Simultaneously, she encouraged me to “ask” my body what was going on with my left lung. Coincidently she noted that my left shoulder was tense and out of line, and advised that I relax it.

To the degree that I can say that I was actually able to ask my body anything, I was surprised to note that it was not my left lung that “answered”. Instead, it seems that it was my left shoulder that “replied”.

Christina advised that I need not verbalize what I was experiencing, but rather simply to pay attention to it. Interestingly, I had a rapid succession of intensely cinematic images flash through my mind. I then felt, contrary to her advice, an urgent need to verbalize what I was experiencing. First, that I was immediately experiencing a very vivid memory of the cause of injury due to a ski accident at Lake Louise in Alberta, on the last day of a spring vacation. Then soon after I was recalling the extreme pain I endured during the first night after the accident occurred. We were trying to sleep in my camper van at a highway rest stop. I got very little sleep, had very little medication on hand, and was the opening salvo of what would lead to months of chronic pain.

But perhaps most fascinating of all was a very intense rush of fragmentary memories of other events that were happening in my life at the time. I will not go into all the details here, but briefly state that it all revolved around the fact that the Federal Government was embarking on a massive process of completely redesigning the west coast commercial fishing industry. At the time I was an elected leader of the union that represented thousands of people whose entire lives were severely impacted by those changes. Thousands of jobs were to disappear, many others were forced into involuntary retirement, entire communities transformed, some people committed suicide and so on and so on. All of these events weighed heavily on me and I took it all on as a personal responsibility. Significantly, during the first part of this difficult chapter of my life I was wearing a shoulder sling to protect the injury. I was hurting physically, and in hindsight I was incurring emotional pain too.

(Subsequently I went to work in the B.C. Premier’s office in 1996 as a special advisor on Fisheries. Several controversial, acrimonious years went by as Victoria and Ottawa clashed over the issue. This even included a separate, but equally stressful clash between the B.C government and the government of the U.S.A. I was in the middle of it all. And in the end we lost.

It all came to an end with the crushing defeat of the N.D.P government in 2001—whereupon I was dismissed from my government post. This left me drained and depressed for some time after. I tried to come to terms with all this, and the feelings I had for all the displace people I knew, by writing a book about it all, which was successfully published by Harbour Publishing in 2005.)

Strangely this all vectors back to my deep recollection of pain recently on the massage table. I simply don’t know what to make of it other than I seemed be momentarily aware of pain deeply recorded in my mind or the body far beneath my conscious mind.

I am not certain how much I can be sure about any of this. For example recently I have been quite obsessed with all that has transpired around the Covid—19, and have done a lot of casual reading about acquired immunity etc. Have I overlaid those sorts of ideas with this? Neither can I be sure that I really experienced what I experienced, or maybe imagined all of this.

All I can say was it was very intense. And I was a bit disoriented by the experience, and I’m now motivated to do further exploration. As an aside; last night after my therapeutic session with Christina I woke up after a couple hours of fitful sleep to discover the left shoulder of my T-shirt was soaked with sweat. But nowhere else! In the years before I was diagnosed with cancer I frequently had night sweats, which are a common indicator of cancer. Yet I have not had a night sweat for several years after my lymphoma went into remission. But this was completely different. I can only wonder what was going on?

While I am not at all inclined to metaphysics and usually someone who strictly focuses on evidence -based thinking, this was all new to me. My most basic conclusion being that we all experience stress and trauma, but generally we are inclined to avoid it rather than investigate it. I am fully aware that there are major discussions and debates on-going within the medical world, and the public at large, about the inter-relationship between mind and body in health matters. I have dabbled in some of these same ideas in past. Such as the very controversial hypothesis that there is such a thing as “cancer personality”, and that people with unresolved emotional issues may indeed push themselves unknowingly in the direction of cancer.

But is it true? I simply do not know.

I would like to explore the concept personally, while at the same time doing nothing to unnecessarily interfere with more mainstream allopathic treatment protocol. Or take on the blame for my cancer due to some sort of shortcomings in my personality, while blithely ignoring all the multitude of toxic contaminants in our natural and social environment.

These are daunting questions, and only people sitting in the “cat-bird seat” of a cancer diagnosis can really experience them directly.

So whatever I do I intend to proceed cautiously and without any preconceptions or assumptions.

In other words, I do believe it is worth exploring the mind/body relationship in health further. Obviously one cannot undo past stress or trauma. And I certainly do not feel particularly inclined to obsess about my past. Similarly, I do not believe that I can use meditation techniques alone to cure cancer. But I do believe that mediation and other therapeutic techniques, such as Christina uses can help me to become aware of how negative psychological energy may potentially impede our natural immune systems. If I were to acknowledge any sort of “spiritual” insight within me at this point in my life it would be that I am NOT really in charge. We may think we own these bodies. We think we own these lives. But we don’t. We are simply given THEM to “have” for a brief period in the vastness of time. In other words, it is Nature —whatever that means— THAT is in really in charge. This body that I have belongs to it, not ”me”. But it is up to “me” as to how I will treat this body. And it dawns on me, late in life, that few of us do an exemplary job of that. Have I managed to keep this body in balance and harmony with its natural inclinations over the course of my life? Hardly. But there is NO time, like now to be aware of that fact.

So back to “my cancer”: it is there and will kill me eventually if nothing is done. And if it doesn’t something else will. So all I can do is turn and try to face it all and see what happens. Knowing all along that eventually one must die. The point being how will I best make use of the time I have left, surely neither by continually undermining my immune system nor by clinging to fear and anxiety. As well as appreciating all those people in my life who have tried to help, and I have not always acknowledged fully. Simple common sense stuff really!

So that’s the “project” as I now see it. Learning to “listen” to my body to see what “advice” it can give. To listen also respectfully to the wonderful allopathic doctors and nurses who are they’re trying to help me as well. And in the process, try to have a clear and peaceful mind. To recognize that quality of life is more important than quantity, a tall order for someone like me. But at the moment I can’t think of a better one.

I received a call from my doctor about the last CT Scan I had, after this treatment with Christina, which I previously described. To my elated surprise, the news was the node in question, had broken in two pieces, they said something like this, is unlike cancer behaviour, while there was never a definitive cancer diagnosis on this node, it was growing and then, it began to shrink and then this news. I recently had my six-month check-up with my Lymphoma oncologist. She didn’t come on the call but a nice young resident did. She told me my Lymphoma remains in remission. That means in a few months I will be able to call myself officially a cancer survivor—as it will have been five years since my last round of chemo.

Although, I am not sure exactly what is going on here. Likely a confluence of multiple variables—all of which may be causal or co-relational. But that I am also convinced that a peaceful, open mind can do nothing but help allow nature take its course so far as healing is concerned. And, that I walk and fine line between allopathic and holistic medical practice. The relationship between both I am keen to personally explore!